Rating:  For adults only because of sexual situations and violence.

Sex/Violence Disclaimer: This tale takes place after a catastrophic war. There are scenes of violence, including one in which sexual violence is alluded. There are also graphic descriptions of two women loving one another. If any of this offends or distresses you, find something else to read.

Chapter Three – Abide With Us

Abide with us; with heav’nly gladness
Illumine, Lord, our darkest day;
And when we weep in pain and sadness,
Be Thou our Solace, Strength and Stay.
Words: Henry F. Lyte, 1847. Music: “Eventide,” William H. Monk, 1861
           
The afternoon sun was burning down on her head as Susan tried to recollect her last trip up this road, almost seven years ago. She had driven up here to pick up her three kids after they had spent a summer with their honorary aunt. At the time, her biggest worry had been if she was going to be able to get to able to get back into town before the grocery store closed. A big account had dropped in her lap and, instead of having the weekend off; she had to return to the office the next morning to work on the new ad campaign.

Everything about those days seemed slightly surreal to her life now. She thought about all the things that once were the mainstay of her daily existence. Commonplace things like taking the kids to after school activities, driving around to find the cheapest gas and celebrating convenient parking spaces when she went shopping in Piedmont and Berkeley. Walking along the ruined highway five years after the end of everything she had known had given her a new sense of normalcy.

“How’s it going, babe?”

Susan growled in frustration, “Do you have any idea how hard it is to translate the difference between driving and walking the same road?”

“I don’t envy you.” Martha took her hand and they smiled at one another. “Does anything seem familiar?”

“Not really.”

“Why don’t you try and remember the things she told you to look for when she gave you directions?”

“You know, that’s a good idea. Jay always did pepper her maps with numerous landmarks.” Susan grimaced. “Things have changed, there is so much more overgrowth. We might have already missed the turn off.”

“You really think so?”

“I don’t know. I’m just so frustrated.”

“Don’t work yourself into a lather. Just let the memories come to you,” advised Martha. “We haven’t passed it yet, trust yourself.” The taller woman squeezed her hand gently.

Wracking her brain for scenery clues, she recalled that there was a tiny rest area at the foot of Jay’s mountain. She began to describe it to her partner when she spied the remains of a small building just off the road.

“Hey, everyone. Hold up a second.” Susan practically bounded across the decrepit bridge. She walked around the ruins and saw an overgrown driveway leading up the side of a mountain. She came racing back. “I think this might be it.”

Doris crossed her arms. “Might or is?”

“Look, it’s been a long time. I’m as close to positive as I can be.” She took off her cap and ran her fingers through her hair. “Guys, what do you think?”

Cody and Carol looked at one another. “Mom, it was a long time ago,” Cody began. “It could be. I don’t remember.”

“Yeah, we were just here to enjoy the summer, not to think about how to find it again. Sorry.”

“What was this place?” asked Doris.

“The last rest stop before you entered Trinity National Park.” Susan answered absently as she surveyed the area. “Why don’t we bring the cart over here and I’ll go up and look. If it isn’t the right place, we can still camp here tonight.”

Doris looked at the sky. “We could go a little farther.”

“No, Susan’s right.  We’re all pretty tired and we haven’t seen anybody today. I think it would be safe.” Martha hoped over the bridge and lean her gun and backpack against a convenient sapling. “Ready to heave?” she asked the group around the cart.

“On three,” Cody said. “One, two…three.”

Working in tandem, they maneuvered the two-wheeled cart over the broken bridge and into the shadows at the side of the building. Susan left her group relaxing in the shade and headed up to see if there was anyone or anything up the road to welcome them.

She stepped over the rusty chain that was stretched across the bottom of the weed choked gravel road.  She walked forward around the bend and stopped in dismay. Blocking the road was a ten-foot section of concrete pipe. It was taller she was and she had to scramble around the open end that hung off the edge of the cliff.

Not very fond of heights at the best of times, she didn’t look down as she made the traverse. She was breathing hard as she wiped her hands on her shorts and continued up the road. The path wound its way under the Douglas firs and redwoods. Her footsteps muffled by the rich red dirt, Susan shook her head at a rusty, bullet hole riddled sign with its warning against trespassing.

Coming to a three-way fork, she was overwhelmed with memories of long ago visits. Shaking her head clear, she chose the middle direction. Following it around the first turn, she was surprised to suddenly be on pavement. Striding up its wandering course up the mountain, she arrived at a two broken down columns blocking the entrance. She climbed over the bricks and went forward to the house she could see ahead of her.

Before she reached it, three large dogs suddenly surrounded her. Disconcertingly, they didn’t bark. They just circled around her in malevolent silence. She held out her hands but they didn’t come close enough to sniff.

“May I help you?”

Susan started at the voice. She looked up to see a woman of medium build with short black hair that was starting to gray staring at her. The woman was holding a crossbow pointed in her general direction.

Despite the threat, she couldn’t help the smile that drifted across her face. “Have I changed so much, Jay?”

The woman took several steps closer. “Should I know you?” She studied the smaller woman for several minutes before her eyes widened in recognition. “Susan?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow.”

“Same here.”

“I’m glad to see you survived.”

“You too.”

“My god but you’re a sight for sore eyes.”

The two of them smiled for several minutes, drinking in the sight of one another. “After coming all this way, do you suppose I could I get a hug?” Susan finally asked, hesitantly.

Jay ordered the dogs to relax and they all plopped down on the ground with their tongues lolling out. The two women embraced. Under the dabbled shade from the overhanging trees, they took simple comfort from each other’s arms.

“Where’s tall, dark, and dangerous?” Jay asked as she released her.

“I left her with the others at the bottom of the hill.”

“Others?”

“Yeah.” Susan didn’t know where to start. “Um, well.”

“Sounds like there’s a story there.” Jay stated dryly. At Susan’s hesitant nod, she said, “All right. Come into the house. It sounds like we’ve got a few things to talk about.” Jay put her arm around Susan’s shoulder and pulled her forward. She made a motion with her other hand and said “Watch,” to the dogs. With doggie smiles, they left their supine positions on the ground to range around the yard.

Jay led her old friend into the two storey stone house. The coolness was a welcome contrast to the heat of the day. A massive fireplace dominated the open living and dining area. The sofa, armchairs, and dining room table with room eight chairs seemed to take up very little of the available space.

As they walked through to the kitchen, Susan felt almost angry. “This place doesn’t seem to have changed much.” Susan was surprised by the bitterness in her voice.

“It’s true. We didn’t see much action up here.” Jay responded mildly.

“I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t this.” Spreading her arms, Susan indicated the calm, quiet interior.

“Wasn’t I always trying to convince you to expect the unexpected?”

“I know but this is exactly like I remember it. If you didn’t know it, you’d never realize what’s happened to rest of the world.”

Jay pulled on her earlobe. “Things must have been really bad for you to leave.”

“It wasn’t a picnic.” Susan put her hand over her mouth. She knew if she said another word, she would start crying.

“You look good.” Sensitively, Jay changed the subject. “Would you like a glass of water?” she asked as she opened one of the cabinet doors and removed two heavy glasses. She poured them both a glass of water from the spigot next to the sink. The ice cold, metallic tasting well water was drunk in silence while the two women appraised one another.

“It’s good to see you.” Jay simply stated. “I had thought of y’all often.” She stared into the bottom of her glass. “I wondered if you all had come through the bombings and aftermath.”

“It was the end of the world as we knew it.” She refilled her glass and drank deeply. Taking a deep breath, Susan said in a rush, “We came to see if we could stay.”

“Okay.”

“We couldn’t live down there anymore. I know it’s sudden and all…”

Jay interrupted. “It’s all right.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah. That’s it. You guys are as near to family as I’ve got.”

“But we’re more than you could have bargained for.”

“I would never turn you away. I’m just glad you finally made the move. From all I’ve heard it isn’t safe out there anymore.”

“We haven’t felt safe in a long time.”

“As you can see, my isolation has protected me.”

“This place looks untouched. It’s like stepping back in time. I can hardly believe my eyes, I think I’m dreaming.”

“Shall I pinch you?”

Susan swatted at her hand. “Goof.”

“Goober.”

“I really missed you.”

Reaching out, Jay pulled her into another hug. “I am so glad that you’re alive.”

“You might not be so happy once you find out how many people I’ve brought.”

“Oh? What are we looking at? A cast of thousands or your entire neighborhood?”

Susan laughed. “No, nothing like that. There are seven of us.”

“What are you so worried about? That’s only two more than the five of your family.”

“No.” Susan set her glass on the counter. “Cheryl was killed.”

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry.”

“I should have made us leave before and now, it’s too late for her.” She wiped furiously at the tears in her eyes. “It’s my fault.”

“No, it’s not. It’s the fault of whoever killed her.”

“Whatever.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

“I can’t just yet. It hurts too much.”

“And it will for a while.” Jay turned away from her and looked out the kitchen window. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you.” She cleared her throat. “Well?”

“Well, what? I said you’re welcome here. That doesn’t change because you picked up three strays. Heck, with your track record, I’m amazed you didn’t bring more.”

“I need to go back down to tell the others.” Susan was nearly dizzy with relief.

“You do trust them, right?”

“I think so.”

“You want to try for a more ringing endorsement?”

“Sorry. It’s just that I never met Doris and her daughter before the missile strikes. She’s Martha’s younger sister and, frankly, a tight ass. She disapproves of our lifestyle.”

“You wouldn’t think that bigotry would be problem when you’re struggling to survive.”

“You’d be wrong. It’s not usually too bad, just uncomfortable sometimes. She and Eva moved in with us at the beginning of the year. We’ve been taking care of them every since.”

“And the other one?”

“Martha’s best friend. She’s been a rock.”

“If you say they’re okay, then that’s fine enough for me.”

Susan rocked on her heels. “They’ve never given me a reason to think that they’d a danger to my family and Piper has more than pulled her weight on this trip.”

“Good,” Jay scratched her chin. “You suppose that they’re hungry and thirsty?”

“Definitely.”

“Okay. Let’s fix a picnic and I’ll come down with you and see what you’ve brought me.”

Jay opened up the cabinet above the wood stove and pulled down a loaf of bread. She cut several tomatoes and a cucumber. Popping a piece of tomato in her mouth she rolled an onion across the counter to Susan. “Chop that for me.”

“A knife?”

“In the block on the other side of the sink.” She collected the cut vegetables and tossed them in a bowl. Reaching into a crock by the door she scooped out a handful of olives and shook the brine free from her fingers. From the refrigerator she grabbed a hunk of cheese and crumbled some into the bowl.

Susan stepped around her and opened the door of the refrigerator. She watched the light come on and then closed the door to watch it go out. In disbelief, she put her hand on several items inside, marveling at the coolness under her touch. “You have electricity?”

“Yep.”

“I don’t believe this. I haven’t see anything like this in years. How?” she demanded.

“Now, now. You knew I was trying to get off the grid well before everything went down.”

“I thought off the grid meant no power.”

“No, it doesn’t. It means that I didn’t want to have to rely on the utilities to provide my power. I have solar panels on the roof that provide enough to operate what I need and batteries to store excess for those rainy days.”

“What other surprises do you have?”

Jay winked. “You’ll have to wait and see. I’ll give a thorough tour once I bring the rest of you up.” Jay ground some pepper into the bowl. She pointed to a row of bottles near the stove. “There is olive oil in the green bottle and vinegar in the blue. Pour a couple of turns around the bowl.”  After that was done, she secured a lid on the bowl and slid it into a backpack. “Shall we?”

Slightly, dazed Susan followed her back out of the house. “Sure.”

“So, tell me more about this best friend and sister.”

“Piper’s one of Martha’s buddies from the police academy. They served together in San Francisco.”

“Cops are useful.”

“She’s kept us in meat.”

“That’s a valuable skill. Anything else about the sister?”

“I’m afraid I don’t have much positive to say about the sister. Her daughter is great, though.”

“How are Cody and Carol doing?”

“Cody is quite the man. He’s growing tall and his voice is breaking.” Susan climbed over the bricks blocking the driveway. “I’m worried about Carol, though. She never was one to make a fuss and now, I don’t know what she’s thinking or feeling.”

“The peril of being the middle child is that nobody understands you.”

“She’s withdrawn from everyone. Not even Martha has been able to get her to smile.”

“In time, she’ll find things to smile about again.”

“I hope she’ll have it.” Susan whispered to herself.

Jay led the way past the mouth of the pipe. “Did you see many people on the road?” she asked over her shoulder as she swung one handed to solid ground.

“Two days ago, before we turned off the highway. A gang of five had killed a man.” Her voice almost breaking, she said. “They were just kids, Jay.”

“Kids can be vicious. You’re lucky that they didn’t take you on.”

“There were more of us than them.”

“Kids don’t usually think about the consequences.” She helped Susan around the mouth of the pipe. “Anybody since?”

“We haven’t seen anyone in the last couple of days.”

“That’s good to hear. We don’t much care for trouble.” Her steps slowed as she neared the old rest stop building. When she suddenly halted, Susan nearly ran over her.

“What? Why’d you stop?”

“Is that one of your friends?”

“Where?” Susan peered around Jay’s back to see Piper standing off to the side with her shotgun leveled at them. “Yes,” she said softly. In a louder voice, she called. “Piper, it’s okay.”

Martha stepped around the other side of the building. Her rifle was also pointed at them. “Step away from her, Susan.”

“What the hell is going on?” Susan asked as she looked back and forth.

“There are the remains of at least ten people around this building.” Martha asked, “I’d like an explanation before we go any farther.”

“Damn right,” Doris called from around the safety of a large tree. “How do we know she isn’t some sort of whack job waiting to kill us too?”

“Jay?” asked Susan, timidly. “What’s this all about?”

The other woman was standing easily, although her right finger tightened on the trigger of the crossbow. “I won’t talk at the barrel of a gun.”

“Then we’ve got a bit of a problem.”

“Not my problem. You drew on me.”

Susan stepped between the three armed women. She held her palms up. “Everyone calm down. We can talk about this. I’m sure Jay can explain.”

“What’s to talk about?” Doris asked. “I knew this was a bad idea.” She kept popping out from around the trunk before ducking back again.

“If you thought it was such a bad idea, why are you here?” Jay asked.

“My sister believed the stories her lover told her about a perfect sanctuary.”

“Not perfect but it is safe.”

“For whom? Certainly, not for the poor saps just left to rot.”

Jay took a deep breath. “I’m willing to tell you what I know but I’m not going to stand here and be accused without defending myself.” Looking around, she pointed at the picnic table. “Why don’t we sit down?” She waited for a moment and then she slowly began walking to the table. Once there, she unslung her crossbow and put it on the ground before sitting down.

The four women held a quick conference behind her back. As she waited, Jay saw a movement out the corner of eye. She turned and saw Carol standing in the protection of the shelter. She couldn’t help the smile that blossomed on her face. “Hey, kid. You miss me?”

Suddenly shy, Carol blushed and dropped her head to study the ground. Cody stepped out towards the seated woman. “Hey, Jay.” He pointed at a tall and skinny girl who had moved closer to his sister. “This is our friend, Eva.”

“Glad to meet you, dear.” She waved them all closer and opened the bag of supplies. “Why don’t you come over and have some lunch.”

“We want some answers first.” Doris demanded from behind her.

Jay tensed but didn’t turn around. “Ask the questions then.”

“Who are these people and what happened to them?” asked Martha, stepping around the table.

Jay gazed at her. “I don’t really know.” She shrugged her shoulders. “That’s the truth. We heard the battle. There was a lot of gunfire and we barricaded ourselves in the house. Once things quieted down, Harmony and I came down to investigate. We saw lots of bodies but no answers.”

“You expect us to believe that you had nothing to do with this?” Doris was nearly jumping up and down in irritation.

“I don’t really care what you believe.”

“Why didn’t you do anything for these poor souls?” Doris demanded dramatically. “My sweet Eva stumbled across a corpse.”

“I’ve found that they have a certain je nais se qai.”

“Seriously, Jay.” Susan pleaded.

“They are better than any no trespassing sign.” She sighed. “Look, a building, no matter how run down, attracts squatters. However, not many people are going to stick around a building that is surrounded by the violently dead.”

“That’s pretty callous.”

“What would you have me do? Offer them a proper burial? I don’t owe them a damn thing.”

Martha spoke up. “When was this?”

“Three years ago.”

Piper and Martha exchanged glances. “Based on the state of the bodies, that’s the right timeframe,” Martha allowed. “I want your word that you weren’t involved.”

“Not in those deaths,” she answered, stressing the word ‘those.’

“Damn it, Jay. Don’t split hairs,” Susan responded.

“And I suppose you all survived this whole time with your hands lily white?”

“Don’t try and make a joke of it. This isn’t the time.”

“I would have to disagree on that. In fact, I remember that you and I rarely agreed on what was funny. It was probably a contributing factor to why we didn’t make it.”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Susan muttered, “Not now.”

“That, on the other hand, I can agree with. Look, let’s introduce ourselves and try and chat like civilized folk.” She waggled the covered bowl. “I brought a salad.”

“You don’t think we’re going to be able to able to eat knowing what’s right there.”

“You people lived in Oakland, right? And had to come through the blast zone of what was once Sacramento?” At the nods of agreement, she continued. “I find it hard to believe you haven’t seen dead people before.”

“We haven’t eaten over them.”

“No, you just steal from them.”  That last was a shot in the dark but she could tell it was a hit by the guilty glances. Grinning at their discomfort she asked, “So, it appears that none of us are without sin.”

There was a short and uncomfortable silence. Jay finally sighed. “Believe me or not, you don’t have to fear me. Now, you want to tell me who’s who?”

Susan pointed to people as she named them. Cody and Carol hugged her before taking a seat at the table on either side of her. Piper, Susan and Martha sat across from her and kept their weapons at the ready. Doris dithered for a moment before sitting next to Cody and making Eva perch on the small amount of bench left.

Jay uncovered the bread. “Freshly made this morning,” she said invitingly. “Susan can attest to the freshness of the rest as she helped make it.” Jay tapped the bowl. “Are you really going to let this go to waste?”

The group slowly dug into the bowl of vegetables. Piper tore off hunks of bread and passed it around. No one spoke as they devoured the salad.

Jay took her time studying the group as they concentrated on the food. “Hungry much?” she asked when she caught Martha’s eye.

“We haven’t seen too much in the way of fresh food in the last few years.”

“You grew all this?” Eva asked timidly. She spit an olive pit into her fist and looked at it in wonder

“The cheese comes from my neighbors on the next mountain over. They keep goats. The olives and oil come from the valley to the west. Everything else came from my garden.”

“This is great.”

“Thank you. There’s more where this came from.”

Martha leaned her elbows on the table. “We’ve come a long way and need a place to settle.”

“I know we didn’t get off on the right foot but you can’t find a safer space.”

“You have enough room for us?”

“Things might be a little tight and may even get a little tough this winter but I’ve got stores of food set aside. With a little work, we can make it.”

“You’re willing to have us join you?”

“I must say that I’m a little less willing now that you’ve drawn a weapon on me, but I’m trying not to take it personally.” She bared her teeth at Piper and Martha, who had the grace to look abashed. “Seriously, I stand by the offer I made to Susan all those years ago and I include those she calls family and friends. There are a few ground rules, though.”

“What do you want?”

“I want your agreement on some stuff before I take you up.” Jay splayed her hands on the scarred surface of the table. “Mine isn’t the only place on the mountain. I want your assurance that none of you will do anything to put any of us in danger.”

“You mean more danger than we are already in?”

“Who are you again?”

“Doris. Doris Matlan.”

“Yeah, right. We tend to keep a low profile, we don’t tell anyone we’re up here and we try not to do anything to tip anyone off to our presence. Can everyone agree to that?”

At the nods from around the table, she smiled. “Okay, the next thing is that out here, there is no free ride. I expect everybody to pull their weight.”

“And if we do so?”

“Like Engel’s wrote, ‘From each according to their ability, to each according to their needs.’”

Doris spoke up again. “Who decides?”

“Well, me, of course.” The smile on Jay’s face never made it to her eyes. “It’s my house, my rules. I’ll share all I have but only to those who work as hard as I do.”

“I don’t think that’s very fair.”

“Shut up, Doris.” Martha leaned across the table. “We don’t expect something for nothing. We’re all willing to work and we’ll all chip in.”

Pointing at the skeletons, Doris spit out, “If we don’t, are you going to do us like you did those people?”

“First off, I didn’t kill them, although I would have had they endangered me or mine.” Her voice cold and remote, Jay made eye contact with everyone around the table. “Secondly, if you don’t agree, you go no farther up the mountain and neither do your friends.” There was an uncomfortable silence. “We’ve made it this long without the kind of trouble that is common down below and we’re not about to sacrifice it all for folks we don’t know.”

“You know Susan and her children.”

“Yes, I do. I also know Martha. Susan vouched for the rest of you and I’m willing to risk it but not without your assurance.”

“You’ll just take our word for it?”

“Well,” Jay said, pulling a knife out her sleeve and flicking her thumb against the blade. “It will be more official in blood.”

Leaping up, Doris shouted to Martha “Stop her! She’s going to kill us.”

“Not funny, Jay. Put it away.” Susan rubbed her temples. “That isn’t helping,” she scolded.

“Sorry.” Jay slid it back into the sheath on her forearm.

Doris was still furious. “Sorry isn’t good enough.”

“Doris, knock it off. She was trying to be funny and the operative word is trying.” Martha was close to losing her temper. She addressed Jay, “All you want is our word?”

“Yes. Tell me that our safety is your safety.”

“You have it.”

Jay looked around the table and got agreement from all of them. She had to wait the longest before Doris finally threw up her hands and nodded.

“Excellent. Are y’all ready to head up?” Her soft southern accent still in place after two decades on the West Coast, Jay stood up and started to clear the table.

“Um, Jay?” Susan began. “How are we going to get the cart up the trail?”

“That is the first secret that I will be trusting you with,” she replied slyly. “Help me clear away all trace of our meal and I’ll show you.”

Chapter Four – The Sheltering Rock

There is a Rock in a weary land,
Its shadow falls on the burning sand,
Inviting pilgrims as they pass,
To seek a shade in the wilderness.
Then why will ye die?
O why will ye die?
When the sheltering Rock is so near by,
O why will ye die?
            Words & Music: William E. Penn, 1887

With a lazy grin, Jay waved for them to follow her up to the path. “We decided from the beginning that we needed to camouflage our presence. So many people only see what they’re expecting to see. Starting with this chain here. We soaked the lock in battery acid so it would rust quickly. Strangers see it and think the road is abandoned.” She pulled one of the stakes out of the ground and lowered the chain to the ground.

Jay returned the stake to its upright position once the group had pulled the cart past.  Still talking, she walked past the small group. “There are four homes sharing this mountain and none of us want unexpected visitors.”

At the pipe, she asked which two of them were willing to get damp. Martha and Piper volunteered. She indicated that they should enter the dark pipe after her. “Come to the center and feel around for metal rod,” she called out, her voice echoing in the dark.

They both looked dubiously from her to the water covering the bottom of the pipe. “Go on,” she encouraged.

Piper reached down and felt around until she found the rod. “What now?”

“Lift up and turn it enough so that it can’t reseat itself in the indention.” After Piper did so, she directed them back out of the pipe to the other side.

She poked her head out and looked at the women with Susan. “You guys push on the left side.” She got out on the other side and told Martha and Piper to push on their left side. With almost comical ease, the pipe rotated, leaving plenty of room for the cart to pass. Once they pulled it past, she had them replace the pipe and the rod in their previous position.

“Can I borrow your canteen?” she asked Martha. Taking it, she said, “Remember to return the water to its previous level,” as she poured out the contents to cover the rod.

Stepping out, she waved the group on. “Ever forward and choose the middle ground,” she intoned.

“What?”

Susan shook her head and smiled at her friend. “Up ahead, there is a fork in the road. We take the center path.”

“Where do the other paths go?”

“The lower road eventually hits the far side of my property before leading to one of the neighbors. The upper leads to the house of my, I mean our nearest neighbor.” She led them through the trees and to the brick blocked driveway. She showed them how removing two bricks allowed the center section to be pushed out of the way.

Once the group walked through with the cart, Jay pushed the wall back into place. Carefully, she brushed away the telltale marks of its movement before she returned to lead the group forward.

Approaching the house, she whistled for the dogs. When they bounded up, she made them sit. “Can you come up one at a time and meet my gals?” she asked.

As they did so, she introduced the refugees to the dogs as friends. Once the animals had sniffed each hand and gotten a scratch behind their ears, she directed everyone the short distance remaining to the house.

Dropping the cart to the ground, they looked around the yard in amazement. They were on a fairly large plateau and could see for miles in all directions except for where the mountain rose at their backs.

Sitting to one side of the two acre clearing, the house was grey stone with black, slate shingles. To their right was a small pond with a short pier. On it was an upside down canoe.  There were several cords of wood stacked under the nearest trees. Beyond the pond there was a small greenhouse, almost hidden at the edge of the forest.

Jay watched the group as they took their first looks at their new home. She wanted to laugh at the wonder in their expressions but the tension was still too high for them to find any humor in the situation.

Instead, she spoke gently. “Welcome, to my, and now, your home. Come inside and let me show you around.”

Almost stumbling because their eyes were not on where they were walking, they followed her through the front door. Piper noticed the heavy shutters on the windows and the thickness of the door. At her raised eyebrow, Jay shrugged. “I could tell you the winters are really bad here but, the truth is, I wasn’t just interested in their weather stopping ability.”

She waved everyone in around her. “I designed this place to have the highest R-value possible. The walls are insulated concrete forms that extend from basement to eaves. They have an additional layer of stone on the outside. Not only could they withstand a 200 mile an hour wind, they can withstand anything short of an amour piercing round.”

“You get many of those?” Martha asked.

“Nope, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.” Jay continued, “I don’t know whether you noticed the solar cells on the roof?” At their nods, she said, “I went for a system of photovoltaic cells that convert sunlight into direct current electricity.” She grinned at their blank looks, “I’ll explain it when we get to it, suffice to say we have power.”

“You’re kidding? Power?”

“I wouldn’t kid about something like that. All the appliances were the best of their time, with high efficiency ratings and low power requirements.” At their excited looks, she shook her head. “Calm down, you can’t run everything at once but then again, I planned this place to not require much.”

“During construction, I did everything I could to get off the grid. I didn’t want to be at the mercy of the greedy bastards in charge of the utilities. I hadn’t considered the greedy bastards of the Confederacy. Since the bombing, we’ve been self-sustaining by default.”

“Self-sustaining?”

“Yep. Water comes from an artesian well and the septic system I have will last for decades. The real work is to collect food and wood.”

Carol stepped forward and hugged her. “I already feel better for being here.”

“I am glad you are here and grateful that you made the journey in safety. It gives me hope.” She snapped her jaws shut over anything else she might have said. Taking a deep breath, she shrugged off their curious looks. “Anyway, let me give you the five dollar tour.”

“I thought tours only cost a nickel?” Susan asked.

“For guests that aren’t expected to pull their weight, yeah. However, you guys are family and, since I’ll be putting you to work tomorrow, I think it best I show you everything.”

Pointing behind the group, she indicated the two doors on the same wall as front entrance. “Right by the front door is a closet that mainly has coats, weapons and ammunition. Next to it is the door leading downstairs.”

She opened the door and directed everyone inside. “Let’s start with the basement.” They walked down a flight of stairs and stopped around a pool table. “Down here is guest room with bathroom.” She opened the door and they peered in at two single beds separated by a nightstand. The room had a line of narrow windows near the ceiling that brought in a surprising amount of light. “We can discuss later where everyone will stay.”

She opened up another door that led to the storage area.  She flipped on a light and everyone gasped at the flickering bulb. Ignoring that, Jay went on. “As you can see, we are pretty well stocked in staples.” Filling the center floor to ceiling racks were canning jars filled with vegetables. Other racks along the walls contained sacks of flour, rice, pasta, and sugar. There were cans of olive oil on the floor and stacks of things they could hardly identify in the darkness.

“My, god,” Doris held onto the doorframe in disbelief. “It’s been five years since the War and you have so much.”

“Two people don’t use that much and you learn to be frugal.” At the doubting glances, she raised her hands in surrender. “Okay, so we stockpiled a few essentials and canned a lot of vegetables.” Shooing them back out the door, she added, “There’ll be plenty of time to see everything later, let’s get through the rest of the house now.”

Flipping off the light, she directed the group to door to the right of the stairs and entered the laundry room. She walked over to the circuit breakers. “Gather around, gang. Let me go over exactly what powers the house.”

Jay waited while the group circled around her. Once they had stopped fidgeting and had fallen silent, she began to lecture. “I’ve got a 1,400 watt solar array on the roof that consists of four 24 volt direct current sub arrays.”  She pointed at a dial. “This indicates the power that is currently being consumed. Beside it is a digital readout of what is being generated by the photovoltaic panels on the roof.”

Kicking a double line of car sized batteries along the floor, she continued, “These twenty Delco batteries are attached to an equalizer that keeps the battery bank’s charged so that all the batteries have the same capacity.” At their blank looks, she explained, “Running down the batteries shortens their life.”

“With just Harmony and myself, the house averaged about 900 kilowatt hours a day. This system is designed for nearly twice that at 2,400 kilowatt hours a day.” Jay smiled. “Now that there will be so many of us, I’m glad I oversized the system.”

She opened the breaker box. “Each item is labeled with the amount of kWh required once that breaker is engaged and all the items plugged into are running. I’ve got a list here of what is currently using power.” She unhooks a clipboard and calculator from a nail beside the breaker box. Flipping through the pages, she ticks off various items. “The upstairs fridge, the freezer and hot water heater are listed with steady watt use, see?” Jay waited until everyone had seen the figures.

Taking the calculator, she did the additions. “Okay, we switched on a light in the basement. That’s 60 watts, plus 66 and 68 for the freezer and fridge respectively. Add to that 818 for the water heater. Finally, you have to add the requirements of the system itself to the total.  That number is 30, which is the combined wattage of the battery regulator, equalizer, and inverters. Our current total is 1042.”

She jerked her thumb at the digital readout. “Right now, the system is delivering 2,128 watts of continuous use, leaving us plenty of watts to play with. On a cloudy day, we might only be getting 1,000 watts. On such a day, using the washer would exceed our capacity.”

“What do you do then?”

“Remember, that we can subtract 60 for the light and maybe even turn off the freezers for a bit.” She looked around to see if everyone was following her. “Before you turn on anything else, you have to do the numbers. Exceeding the base load is really, really bad. I can’t stress that enough. If the system is drained, we can lose what is in the cold cases.” She hooked the calculator back on the wall. “Worse, we may never get the system back online again.”

Piper flipped through the pages on the clipboard. “You can do all this with solar power?” she asked, hardly able to get her mind around what Jay was telling them.

“That and a well designed house and energy efficient appliances. Neat, huh?”

Cody asked, “What about during the winter?”

“As the days shorten, we won’t be able to run as much. But I built the house so that panels are aligned to collect as much sun as possible and we have the benefit of the battery system to supplement our needs. In any event, you’ll still be better off than you were.” Wagging her finger at everyone, she sternly repeated, “Check the numbers before you turn on anything.”

“Got it.” Susan spoke for everyone when she added, “We never expected anything like this.”

Jay laughed. “Darling, you haven’t seen anything yet. I’ve got loads of tricks up my sleeve.” She pointed at the numbers. “As we’ve still got several hours of daylight, I figure that we have enough to power to run at least two loads of laundry through the wash and for everyone to shower.”

“Oh my, goodness,” Doris’ voice was hoarse. “Are you sure you’re not kidding us?”

“I have a sneaking suspicion that y’all wouldn’t respond well to me pulling your leg. The system is everything I’ve said it is.”

“I just can’t believe it.”

Martha ran her fingers over the dials. “We figured you were just surviving out here. I don’t think anyone thought that you’d be living so well.”

“You took a big risk coming out here in that case.”

“Susan had faith that this was the place for us to come.” Martha touched the back of her hand to Susan’s cheek. “As usual she was right.”

“We sure stepped through the right looking glass.” Piper added.

“Nothing that fantastic. It was a simple matter to build around a worst case scenario.”

“I don’t think anyone else on the planet planned so well for disaster.” Her voice dry, Susan couldn’t help but smile at her ex-lover.

“Hey, I tried to get you on board but you thought I was a cock-eyed pessimist.”

“More like the boy who cried wolf.”

“Just because Y2K was a bust and the Loma Prieta and Northridge quakes didn’t shake your particular corner of the state, doesn’t mean that you were entirely safe.” She chided her.

“Not the first time I was wrong.”

Jay laughed, loudly. “Yeah, but I never tire of getting you to admit it.” She put her arm on Martha’s shoulder. “You can back me up on how nice that is, right?”

“No comment. You don’t think I’m stupid enough to agree with you?”

“Coward.” She ruffled the taller woman’s hair. “All right, let’s go see what’s upstairs.”  Leading the way back to the stairs, Jay stopped at a closet. “Oh, here are pretty extensive medical supplies. Does anyone have training in first aid?”

Martha nodded. “Both Piper and I are certified.”

“Good. I’ve also got the Army medic’s field manual on disc upstairs. In case of a real emergency, anyone can follow directions and become a surgeon.”

“I’m not so sure that I want any of you operating on me.” Doris threw out.

Jay laughed. “Hey, when it comes down to the wire, I don’t think I’ll be concerned about checking qualifications.”

Nodding, Susan agreed. “I wouldn’t care if someone played connect the dots with my entrails as long I was still alive at the end of it.”

“Here, here, love.” Martha kissed her partner and looked over at her sister. “Don’t worry, Doris. We’ll respect your wishes to die from your injuries instead of receiving any amateur treatment.” The two siblings stuck their tongues out at each other.

Returning upstairs, Jay opened the door next to the basement entrance. Here is the first guest room.” Inside was a double bed and a desk with an extensive computer set up. “That Mac uses a lot of juice, so it should only be accessed on really sunny days or after you’ve turned off everything else.”

She directed everyone to the next room. There was a bed against one wall and a couch along the window. Opening one of the closet doors, she revealed a television. “I’ve got a pretty good collection of videos and DVD’s but, again, they should only be used on the sunniest of days or at night when we’ve turned everything else off and can expect a sunny day the next day.”

In front of the entrance to the bathroom was a circular staircase that led to the upper floor. It led up to Jay’s attic hide-a-way. A large bed dominated the floor space. A number of large windows gave the room plenty of light and all the available wall space was filled with built in bookshelves. She showed them her small half bathroom and Franklin stove. “This room can be shut off from downstairs to help with the heating. You’d be surprised at how much heat the damn thing puts out.”

Susan walked over to the bed. There were books and a half filled glass of water on one nightstand but the other one was clear of anything but a candle. Picking it up, she asked, “Jay, where’s Harmony?”

For a long moment, it didn’t look like she was going to answer. When she did, her voice was hoarse. “She went to find her brother in Los Angeles.”

“That’s crazy. There’s nothing left.”

“At first we thought that too. When we went down the mountain to Willow Creek for spring trading there were about twenty refugees from Monrovia. She left that spring to look.”

“How long has she been gone?” Carol asked quietly. She had always liked the former teacher and thought that the two women had been really happy together.

“Almost nineteen months.”

“You think she’s coming back?” Doris voice was derisive. “She’s long dead by now.”

Jay had Doris on the floor with her hands around the other woman’s throat before anyone in the room could react. She shrugged off the attempts by Martha and Piper to pull her away from the person who had given voice to her greatest fear. As Doris clawed at the fingers around her throat, Jay started to cry. With an angry snarl, she shoved the choking woman’s head hard against the floor before standing up.

“If you want to stay here you won’t ever say anything like that again,” Jay hissed. Without looking at anyone else in the room, she stomped back downstairs.

Susan and Eva helped to pick Doris up off the floor and support her while she tried to draw breath. Everyone was shocked by the suddenness of the attack.

“Easy, Mom.” Eva led her mother to the bed and helped her to sit.

Cody spoke for all of them “That was pretty scary.”

“I don’t know Jay at all but I don’t believe that’s typical behavior.” Piper crossed her arms and leaned against one of the windows.

“You’re right. I’ve never known her to fly off the handle like that.” Rubbing Doris’ back, Susan didn’t look at the group as she spoke.

“Can you blame her for being upset?” Carol nearly shouted. “Just think how scared she must be for Harmony. It must be driving her out of her mind.”

Martha walked over and took Susan into her arms. “I don’t think I would be able to stand it if I didn’t know what was happening with you.”

“She nearly killed me!” Doris was outraged at the lack of sympathy.

“You shouldn’t have said what you did,” Cody snarled back, glaring at her.

“Oh, get real. You know I spoke the truth.”

“No.” Piper was adamant. “We don’t know that. All of us have seen miracles of survival. We can’t say for sure that Harmony isn’t on her way back here right now.”

“For damn sure, until we do know, we can keep our mouths shut.” There was no room for debate in Susan’s voice. “You should apologize.”

“I will not.”

“Fine. Then you stay as far from her as you can and you keep quiet about things that don’t concern you.” Susan looked around. “I hope we can get past this because I don’t want to leave.”

Carol was crying. “I want to make a home here.”

“I don’t feel safe,” said Doris.

“Then maybe you ought to leave,” snidely responded Susan.

Cody was still angry. “Nobody is keeping you here.”

“Everybody, just chill.” Martha’s voice was commanding. “I don’t think we should let one incident drive a wedge between us all. Let us all take a deep breath and continue the tour without verbally attacking one another. Okay?”

The group nodded and went back downstairs. When they rejoined her, Jay was standing staring into the empty fireplace. At the sound of their feet, she turned and wiped a hand roughly over her face. She tried to shake off her fury but her head continued to pound. “I apologize for losing my temper.”

Susan touched her lightly on the arm. “Honey, no-one wants to wish Harmony ill. We didn’t know and I’m sure Doris didn’t mean anything by it.”

The woman in question was dramatically rubbing her throat and coughing. She ignored Susan’s significant look.

“My sister is a boor. Don’t hold the rest of us guilty for her foot in mouth disease.” Martha added.

“I’ll try not to let it happen again.”

“Try?” asked Doris, hoarsely.

Jay glared over at her. “Maybe there should just be some things that are off limits to discussion.”

“We agree,” Martha said quickly and then grinned at her sister. “Right?” After she received an answering nod, she asked Jay, “So, where were we?”

“Pardon?”

“What were you going to show us down here?”

Jay cleared her throat. She couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes as she finished the tour. “Out here, we’ve got a sleeper sofa and two day beds.” She began, waving at the living room. “As you can see, there is plenty to read and a good sized fireplace to keep the chill away.” She indicated the walls of books. “Feel free to borrow anything that interests you.”

She walked over to the dining area and leaned against the back of one of the eight chairs. “Looks like we’ve finally got the perfect number for meals. Oh, and there is a bathroom behind the staircase with a shower and tub and over there is the kitchen.”

“Well, we should figure out where everyone is going to crash. Downstairs are two singles, up here are the two single day beds, the two sofas, the double bed and the queen.” Jay looked at the silent group. “How about you all talk it over and I’ll start dinner?” Without waiting for an answer she escaped into the kitchen.

Stirring the coals in the stove, Jay added several pieces of wood before turning to fill a large Dutch oven with water. She also filled the teakettle while she had the water running. Humming softly to her self, she reached to the back of the counter and pulled out a crock of sourdough starter. She took out a portion and deftly added flour, salt and olive oil to the bowl before she scooped out a cup of water from the pot. She went to the sink to wash her hands and began to knead the bread, stopping only when the kettle screamed.

Tapping her index finger to her upper lip, she decided on mint tea and poured the water into a pitcher with the single bag. Jay returned to kneading until the dough was elastic. She then coated it with more olive oil and returned the ball to the bowl.  She set it to the side to rise. Muttering darkly over how few tomatoes were left, she choose several and set them near the green beans. Emptying her mind while her hands worked, she snapped the beans.

She glanced up when Susan came into the kitchen. “Do we have a solution?”

Susan nodded. “Yeah. Martha and I will take the queen. Doris will take the double, Carol and Eva will share the basement and Cody will take a day bed and Piper will take the sofa.”

“Great.” Jay swallowed. “Uh, Susan?”

“Yes?”

“I really am sorry about what happened up there. I don’t know what came over me.”

“You were scared, honey. It was appalling to hear your fears put into words.” Susan came closer and pulled her ex-lover into a hug. “I believe that if it is at all possible that Harmony will come back to you.”

“You really think so?”

“I do. I know that she loved you very much and that she knows that you love her.”

“I miss her so much.” Jay butted her head against Susan’s shoulder. Her eyes burned but she didn’t cry.

“I bet you do. You’ve been alone a while.”

“I’ve been fine.”

“It must have been terribly lonely.”

“Sometimes. I kept busy. There’s nearly always something to do.”

“Well, hopefully, we’ll be able to take some of the burden off your shoulders.” Susan kissed her forehead. “I also want you to know that you’re not alone anymore.”

“It may be hard to adjust.”

“Let us help you.” She squeezed Jay tightly and released her.

“Thank you.”

“Da nada, chica. We should be on our knees thanking you for letting us stay.”

“I meant what I said. The offer is as good as the day I made it. This is your home too.”

“Don’t think we’re not grateful.”

“I don’t. So, why don’t you all get settled in your space? There is time while the dough rises for you all to shower. It’s a pretty large hot water heater, so if no one is too greedy you should all get at least a warm shower.”

“Sounds divine. I’ll tell them.”